From The Last
Beautiful Days of Autumn
|"One day last year, Shel Hershorn
tells me, Turkey-Lurkey (his large tom stud-turkey) had an accident. “Kicked
by a goat, maybe–nobody knows for sure.” But his neck was kinked over,
the bird was half-paralyzed. Shel had an idea, though, on how to save him.
A Taos doctor named Robert Lupowitz had been treating Shel for a bad back.
So Shel transported the turkey to Lupowitz, who saw nothing unusual in
applying his expertise to the bird. Presto!--his bones realigned, Turkey-Lurkey
strutted out into the barnyard all puffed up and thumping, providentially
The story doesn’t end here. Shel’s neighbor, Mike Mabry had a large black dog named Bear, who grew old, slipped a disc, and developed paralyzed hindquarters. Frozen into a sitting position, Bear seemed doomed until Shel and Mike rolled the dog onto an old door and carted him off to Lupowitz, who applied his art in all the relevant areas. Pretty soon Bear was up and about, feeling almost frisky. Then a neighboring bitch went into heat, and Bear joined the gangbang. By the time the dust cleared, he was a cripple again.
Back to Lupowitz journeyed the intrepid altruists, and once more the doctor’s benign fingers worked their magic. On his feet, though, during the mating season, Bear’s brains were all beneath his belt, and this time he emerged from the sexual brouhaha looking like something that had been vivisected by an express load of Winchester buckshot. Eventually, Mike figured the law at play here was one of diminishing returns, and he led his Old Shep into the privacy of the pinon forest and gently sent him on to the Other Side. "